My 40

First tooth.

First day of Kindergarten.

Graduating college.

Marriage.

Kids.

All those things are pretty epic events to someone at some point in life. Recently I celebrated my own epic event. TURNING 40!

I had these grand plans that I'd be fit and fabulous seeing 40 in. Now don't get it twisted, fabulous I am! Fit, not so much. I was really upset with myself at first, then I was like, "wait, you're 40! you don't have to be upset over stuff like this anymore, you're in the club!" So, I cut myself some slack. Even though there were some of you doing it up for your 40th, GO ON WITCHYABADSELF!

My actual birthday was very uneventful. Hubs was out of town for the week. Kids had ball practice & drum lessons, and really it was just another busy Monday. I received well wishes & love from friends & family, but the day was really just another day.

I was already having issues with this day, because well since 1991 I always have. See, that was the year all I wanted for my birthday was for my mom & step dad to get married, like as my birthday gift...on my birthday! Yes, I really did want that, but little did I know in 2001 it would cut like a knife. That was the year that God took her from us at 41 years young . Devastated doesn't even begin to cover it...

SO now I'm a mom, and 40, and yea, it's been a little bizarro since January of this year, just knowing that this milestone was headed straight for me. I wasn't sure I was ready for what my 40 was going to look/feel like. There's a lotta pressure! Who knew?!

Fast forward to Saturday, which happened to be mine & hubs' 17th anniversary.

We're spending it at the ball field...ALL DAY AT THE BALL FIELD!! I'm sticky & stinky & a little bit slimy, but he's insistent on celebrating! Little does he know...well, not true...he knew, because I was quite vocal about it, I didn't want to go anywhere. Netflix & Chill! No way, he's not having it! Finally, after rain delays and brutal heat we make our way home and I'm dreading getting the kids ready for bed, me ready for out, and...well, you get the idea. And little did I know he had my 40 all planned out (and plan B), with the help of my most favorite people in the world (minus a few).

So, this is my 40...

I am always surrounded by those that love me, like really love me. I don't have a fabulous 40 year old body like I'd hoped, but I might before this time next year, and if I don't...then I just don't. My adult acne keeps me young. I love my people with a fierceness that scares even me sometimes. I am loved FOR WHO I AM by those people. I don't make excuses for who I am (though I don't know that I ever have). I don't go on exotic vacations all the time, and I'm (mostly) ok with that. I'm not really interested in comparing myself to others anymore. This is it. What you see...you get. My 40 doesn't have to look like yours, or hers, or his, or theirs. My 40 is MINE! My choices, whether good, bad, or ugly have gotten me here and I'm damn proud to be here. Yes there are regrets, I'd be lying if I said otherwise, but those regrets have come with lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Let whatever milestone you're in or coming up on be YOURS! Live in the choices you've made, and be grateful that God gives you the opportunities in life that others didn't get. Learn from your mistakes and don't apologize for the FABULOUS that you are!!